Monday, January 30, 2012

Judge Not, That You Be Not Judged

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Matthew 7.1-5

Any guesses as to what this post is about? Ha ha. I think it's time we have a serious talk ladies. I've gone back and forth on whether or not to write this post with full knowledge of its controversies and major backlash it could receive. But, this is MY blog and I am entitles to state my views, opinions, and feelings. So with that said, Here it goes.
I have been struggling lately with judgment of others. I have VERY strong opinions that judging someone is anything BUT Christ-like and our Heavenly Father is the ONLY one with the power to do so. Now, let me also state that I, like everyone else in this world, am not perfect by any means. I too have passed judgment on others. But being a convert in my religion I have always tried to see both sides of the fence. You are probably wondering where all this is coming from. Right? This weekend I decided to have one of those "Slumber Parties". You know the type...if not look it up if you are curious :).  In the process of inviting people to this party I have learned these things
  • I am trashy
  • I am perverted
  • I have no morals
Pretty awesome right? These are a few of the things that were said about me. This is why we are having this talk ladies, It seriously broke my heart. Don't these people know me? I knew this party would not be for everyone and I am COMPLETELY fine with that. My thought process was that I think the sex stores are not for me and I feel like a lunatic whenever I've been in one. So how nice would it be to be able to be in the comfort of your own home to browse those types of items, learn about them, and and shop without feeling all awkward and not having to see porn videos everywhere you look? I guess I thought most people would feel that way. Well, you know what happens when you assume. 
Now heres what I don't understand. Is it that hard to politely decline, say its not for you, and let it be? Why go as far as put the person down and pass judgement on them? I would rather go to one of these slumber parties then lay my head down at night knowing I have judged someone. But my feelings have been hurt and I feel like I need to defend myself. When you pass judgement on someone do you know the whole situation? Do you know what is going on behind the scenes? If not then maybe you should either A. Get to know the person better or B. Don't Judge Them

This goes way beyond some stupid party. I just want to inspire those of you who need to to work on this. I know that even with me writing this I have learned more about myself and the way I treat people. It is so sad that we as woman are always looking to bond at someone else's expense. I'll never understand that. Maybe I feel so strongly on this because I've been on the short end of those conversation most of my life. When I chose to have God be a part of my life and be baptized into the LDS church and get married in the temple, I had people saying "I can't believe SHE is getting married in the temple". Instead of "WOW, I am so happy and proud of her for wanting to better herself and choose a life with God by her side." And that makes it hard to have sympathy.Thankfully I have enough wonderful people in my life to reassure the person I truly am. So while my feelings were hurt they were right there to make me remember the love and confidence I should have for myself. I am one lucky girl.
Ok. Enough of my pitty party . People may do things that you do not understand or agree with. Instead of judging them, love them. You don't have to love what they do but love them as a brother, or sister. As long as what they are doing isn't illegal, nine times out of ten they are a good person. And if you let that one thing you disagree with interfere with how you feel about them you could be missing out on a wonderful person in your life, friend, or maybe even family member. As woman we are naturally the motherly and nurturing type. We should be giving confidence boosters and always looking for the good in others. Teaching our children not to judge and love all with no judgement. Just like Christ. 

 No matter their race, faith, political views, and certain opinions. I promise if you remove the close mindedness and negativity, you will live a much happier life and will be surprised by the blessings you will receive. Sometimes those that are hardest to love, are the ones who need it the most.
It's like going back to when we were five. 


  1. Absolutley loved this post, I think you are awesome and GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!

  2. I couldn't agree with this post more than I do! People seriously judged you for that?! You're married! Guess what? Married people have sex, and they are even supposed to have sex! We have Party Gals couples parties with our friends all the time. I'm so glad that you wrote this post and stood up for yourself! Go you!!

    1. I agree with you, Sheena you know how I feel about this subject, people have their on opinions about it, I cant stand when they go around saying things without knowing the person, I dont think sex is nothing to be ashamed.

  3. Great post! I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to your party, I've actually always wanted to go to one! I can't believe people would even say anything...You definitely have morals, and are not trashy or perverted. When my dad started dating after my mom passed and we had a hard time with it people were really harsh on us about it. Saying we were non-supportive, didn't want to see him happy, etc...he just got divorced after 45 days. I think people (myself included in so many instances) need to realize they don't really know the circumstances without being a part of the situation or stepping in that person's shoes. So chin up girl, those people just don't know any better I say!

  4. I love this blog. I am a friend of Trinity and came across your blog on hers :)

    People are so judgmental it really is so sad. I totally agree with you on the whole slumber party thing too! People just need to relax..

    It's sad that people need to put others down just so they can feel good about themselves

  5. I completely agree with this post. I don't know how many times I have prepared a Relief Society lesson and wanted to somehow incorporate intimacy as a way to strengthen a marital relationship, but it's such a forbidden topic in our culture. So for all the times I've wanted to say "Sisters, have more sex with your husbands" but couldn't for fear of what people would think or say about me, well there ya go- If you want to strengthen your relationship with your husband have more sex and there is nothing wrong with bringing in a little something to spice it up.

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  7. I would move...wait, I did. ;) I'm sorry I didn't make it to support you. I should have just for that reason.

  8. Sheena, what a wonderful post. You are definitely filled with the Holy Spirit! ;o) We love you very much. ;o)

  9. Okay, seriously, I am teared up at the end and am starting to cry as I write this comment. I am not innocent of passing judgement or talking of others and for the hurt I may have caused and know I caused I am truly sorry. I know that not one person other than Christ is exempt from this. However, I have been judged more times than I can count. It truly breaks my heart that certain people cannot see passed a truly wonderful person due to different views. I hope to raise children that are accepting, loving and kind to all they come in contact with. I want them to respect others for their decisions and leave the judging for Christ. There are so many amazing people in this world that have so much to offer and hearts of gold if only people could see past their differences. My husband is one of those people and I could not be prouder to be his wife. My children are so very blessed to have a dad that would do anything for them to make sure that they feel safe, loved and cared for in every way possible. I feel sorry for those who cannot see passed my husbands choice to occasionally drink alcohol and his decision to not attend a certain place of for religion. If anyone needs to worry about that, let it be me. It hurts at times, but what we have is worth fighting for and when I said, "I do" I meant for ever and for always. I am sorry...I could go on and on. But I will stop. Thank you for the reminder to not be so quick to judge. For I hope that when it is my time to be judged my Savior will be loving and merciful of my many faults.

  10. Wow I started reading this and thought is she writing this to me? Did I do/say something judgmental? I try so hard to not do this but found myself being paranoid. I guess we all need a reminder every once in a while...thanks for the inspiration, your amazing!!! Love you girl!

  11. thanks for sharing this tidbit. is it weird, just as you said... 'It is so sad that we as woman are always looking to bond at someone else's expense. "

    I'm still so naive to think that other women can be our best advocates & supporters but find more often than not it is not the case...and using God's name is the best way for women to hide behind their slick words.

    I'll continue to be naive just because I know there a a few RARE gems of women who are the exception.

    thank you for sharing!!