Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Mommyhood-the woes

Totally different from PARENThood. I know we all say it, but man... NOTHING prepares you for being a mom. When you grow up you think of all the good times you WILL have with your kids. You think of how you will marry your prince and have babies and life will be la-ti-da. For the most part it is true. However, there are some things that are not normally a topic of conversation in fairytales-

1. Having Children-
I remember when I was engaged to get married all I could think about was our future. I had it all mapped out. I knew when we would DECIDE to start, what age we would have each kid, what month I wanted them born in and their sex. HA! No one really tells you that it is possible that you may never have children, that they come when THEY want, that you may actually lose them, and that getting pregnant isn't always as easy as an "oops".

2. Planning how your kids will be and how you will handle them
No one told you that you shouldn't knock other peoples forms of parenting and say things like "I will NEVER do that with my child". Nine times out of ten you will be eating your own words. Promise.

3. The Worry
Ahh know, that thing that starts as soon as you see the positive sign on your pregnancy test. I've come to realize that the feeling of concern for your child will never end. Until you die, and probably long after that! No one tells you that the first time your child tooth punctures his lip and it starts bleeding like he cut his tongue off that mouth injuries bleed a LOT and that He'll be fine. So the 911 call is totally unnecessary.
That was the first of many incidents I would go through. If I only knew! Is this just a boy thing? Are girls death defying? ha ha!

1. The Bloody Nose Massacre 

Kamden would get horrid bloody noses all the time. I swear that if the police came in with a black light and luminal spray, they would accuse us of murder. He later ended up needing surgery to get it cauterized but that is a whole other story.

2. 4 Weeks Early

Our little Hud Bug came 4 weeks early and could not breath on his own. He ended up in the NICU for the first 7 days of his life and came home on oxygen and O2 monitors. A month later we were good to go.

3. Kamden Falls 20+ Feet Out of His Bedroom Window.

Here is The KSL News Story

4. Hudson's Allergies
Call it mother's intuition. Hudson kept getting this dry rash on his cheeks so I took him to the Allergist. After lots of poking...
We found out he is deathly allergic to eggs and dogs. Did you know that eggs are in almost EVERYTHING? I do now.. and the doggy part makes it especially sad for this little guy :(
We now have to carry around an EPI pen wherever we go. But more on THAT in a minute.

5. Blue to the Sky, Orange to the Thigh 
While I had Hudson at the allergist I had to take Kamden as well. The Dr. did a great job explaining to us how to use our new friend Epi. 
as you can see there is blue on top and orange on bottom. The Dr. explained that when administering it that if you remember "BLUE TO THE SKY, ORANGE TO THE THIGH" you will know exactly how to hold it and where to put it. 
A few weeks later I was in SLC for a girls night and I get a frantic call from my husband explaining this:
Kyle: What does the practice Epipen look like? 
Me: (suddenly panicked) WHY?!
Kyle: I think Kamden just shot himself with it.
Me: WHAT?!! What do you mean?
Kyle: He was sitting next to me on the couch and then disappeared into the kitchen. All of a sudden I heard him say "Blue to the sky, orange to the thigh"! I ran in there and saw him holding the pen and asked him what he did. He replied "nothing", and then pulled up his shorts to reveal a picture wound!
Me: Call the Dr.
Kyle: Whats the number? What one?!!
Me: The ER
He then called the ER that got him nowhere and I called his Dr. They directed me to call poison control. 
*I can't lie, being a SAHM I am pretty much 100% of the time the one that is around for crappy Dr. visits and all the bumps, bruises, and accidents. So having something happen on the Mr's watch was kind of nice. Even though I would rather nothing "happen" at all! But you know what I mean!*

Luckily he did not hold it down long enough to get a full dose so they just told us to watch for a change in behavior. I just laughed....nothing is unexpected or unusual for this kid.
Except being lethargic.

6. High Fevers = Brain Delirium and one big fat ?

A couple of weeks ago Kamden went in to have his nose cauterized. Because of his age they had to put him under. 
 Everything went great! When I was little, everything I got really sick or had to be in the hospital my mom always bought me a special toy. In his case he got the Hulk and they gave him a green popsicle to match!
That day he was already back to bouncing on our couches and running around like a mad man despite out efforts to make him rest. The next day I went to the movies with my SIL and came home to an unusually quiet home with Kamden laying on the couch watching TV. I immediately knew something was off. He seemed like he wasn't feeling well so I had him go take a nap. When he woke up he was running a fever. An hour later he got an upset stomach and, know. By the time he went to bed he was 104 and could barely walk. I decided to sleep in his room to make sure he was ok during the night. 
The next morning he woke up still on fire. I called his Dr. and decided to take him to the ER. I knew he was dehydrated by this point and hadn't eaten since lunch the day before. 
We brought him in and after extensive blood work, urine analysis, and a spinal tap, they decided to admit him. He was COMPLETELY lethargic. 
They couldn't give us a for sure diagnosis. After a very scary morning filled with unexplainable rises in numbers in some of his blood work and some terrifying words being thrown around, ( the Residential Dr. told me that I had every reason to be worried, because he was worried too) they were thinking he has a kidney infection, UTI, and staph. His CRP levels were abnormally high as well as his white blood cell band percentage. His urine culture showed he had a UTI and it was caused by staph but they didn't know what kind yet. He was still fevering and the next step would be an ultrasound of his kidneys. What was baffling was that he had no systems of a UTI or kidney infection, fevers aside.
Because they knew it was staph and didn't want to wait for the results as to what kind they decided to start pumping him full of antibiotics. 
I could handle the fevers, I could handle him being poked and prodded, but I could not handle feeling like I was watching my little boy slowly deteriorate. His fevers were getting as high as 104.9 and once they hit around 102ish his brain would go into a state of delirium. The best way I can explain this is that it was like talking to someone that has alzheimers. He would say things that didn't make sense and have conversations with people that were not there. It was terrifying. This was even worse than when he fell out of the window because I had no explanation. 
The next morning (day 3 in hospital) the Doctor cam and told us that Kamden DID NOT have a staph infection, kidney infection, or UTI. His urine sample has been contaminated with epidermidis staph. This means we were back at square one and had no idea what was making him that sick. On the plus side his fevers were getting farther apart and the distance between him needing Motrin was greater. 
By day four he had gone 24 hours without a fever and was back to his usual self. After the Dr. came in to see him and found him jumping and rolling around the bed, with a concerned look on his face he asked, "If this how he normally is?" I just laughed and explained that the boy he had known the last four days was not my child sand introduced him to the REAL Kamden. Aside from a few headaches we were able to lave back to normal with absolutely NO idea what took over my son.
 While laying in the hospital with him, not knowing what was happening to my child, I began to think of those mothers (or fathers) sitting day in and day out at the hospital with their child for months, years even. The fact that while you are so worried about one child, chances are you have other children that you are having to find someone to take care of. I felt completely helpless. At one point they had to drag me out of the room out of Kamden's sight because I just lost it. I didn't have the strength anymore. That was only 4 days. But at least we got to come home. It scares me because i feel like we are living on a "nine lives" system over here.
 Those mother's deserve lifetime of free spa visits. Or at least free counseling and/or lifetime supply of zanex.  
Being a mother is so much more than I ever thought it would be. Good, bad, fun, hard, gratifying, terrifying....I could go on all day. There is just no way to prepare for what may be in store. 
As challenging as those little blessings are I know more than ever that each day with them is a gift. Nothing is worse than seeing your child go through something tramatic and having to just watch. I can imagine how our Heavenly Father feels everyday.
So love those little stinkers with all of your being and thank God for every moment spent. 


  1. I LOVE this post! Life is unexplainable and I love it. You never know that amount the heart can love until you have a child in your family. Children come in many ways and at an exact moment that is meant to be. Unfortunately some of us have to wait a bit longer, some have to endure a bit more heart ache, but once that child is placed in your arms all of that sorrow seems to pass you by. I agree that the moment you see the positive sign worry sets in and it will never disappear. I am 28 years old and I know that my parents still worry over me and I know when I am old and gray and my children are grown I will continue to worry. I also know that when my time is done I will still watch over them and worry right along with them. Some of these catastrophic moments of horrid worry make me grateful for my Savior and a chance to receive blessings and guidance. Thank you for sharing a look into your life as a mother. Love ya.

  2. I love love all you said, Im glad that both boys are doing much better, despite all we go through I feel that being a mother is the most regarding job, I love your fam :) Maria your venezuelan friend, xoxo

  3. p.s you look super hot in those glasses :)

  4. This font is hard to read. With that said I am SO glad you shared. being a mom is hard. I wonder if women have decided to work so the burden of being around a child all day can be relieved a little... As another SAHM, I salute you. You are a terrific mother. -

    1. Ah thanks for the font comment. I'm trying to find a cute one that isn't hard to read. I will search again :)

  5. Sheena, you do such a superb job of writing! ;o) Yes, you are absolutely right, once a Mom, always a Mom. At my age of 70, I still am, and always will be, concerned about our children. I trust that God watches over them every day and all their families. Just love them every moment, because THEY do grow up way too fast. We love you, Sweetheart! By the way, you are a #1 Mom all the way!!! ;o)

  6. Sheena, guess you figured out that the above post is from Grandpa & Grandma Terry ;o)