Charmingly Cute

This week has been exhausting.  iMac crashing (I'm dying without my lightroom),  first of three bathroom tearouts, and lastly potty training.  Weirdly, I am so thankful for these challenges.  Many around me have been suffering with medical issues, losing children, and even losing faith.  So my problems are so minor compared to others struggling. 

Is it just me or is being a two and a half your old a tricky job?  Even harder, being a mom sometimes.  My sweet girl has her flustered moments, but still at the end of the day we fall back in love, say our prayers, and fall asleep happy.  What helps you work through your struggles with your kiddos?  I'm still figuring this out lately.  Heavenly Father has been the true guiding light for me in how I view my kids.  Don't get me wrong, I still occasionally lock myself in my room and scream into my pillow.  What mom doesn't?  I feel like I'm constantly being reminded to be thankful for each challenge we have to overcome.  3 years ago, all I wanted was a baby and now I have 2 precious miracles.  Children ARE so rewarding and totally worth it.

Now for the lighter side of post. 

Ava and I both have a jewelry obsession.  A couple on months ago the fabulous Cheri Holden shared her wonderful jewelry making talents with me.  You know when you just meet someone who is just an incredible gal, mother, and wife plus she's gorgeous?  That's Cheri.    I had been searching everywhere for the perfect gold bar necklace, well it so happens that she makes them.  I love supporting local businesses, plus if you meet her she's amazing.  Cheri's Etsy Shop has the most darling creations and I urge you to check it out and get your hints started for Christmas.  Yes, it will come before you know it and my sweet jewelry maker would love to take care of you.

I can't wait to get sis her own necklace one day. Ava's my best friend and I will do everything I can to remind her of that for at least the next 16 years.  

Here is a link to my necklace that Ava is wearing.

I hope each of you have a wonderful Labor Day.  Be safe. 

Jameson

Sweetest Things Cake Shoppe!

Last week we had a special delivery from  

The Sweetest Things Cake Shoppe and baby, was it delish!  You guys have to check out her cakes too. Keli, the owner, is the cutest thing you've ever met and her baked goods are to die for.  Keli's shop info is at the bottom- you won't be disappointed!  

Of course I had to do a few pics of my sweet Ava, her new custom apron, and the cutest cupcake ever!  

 

Thanks Keli for the cupcakes and Mel for the apron!

-XoXo-

Jamie

Taking On Infertility & A Little Maternity Session.

This is just part of my infertility story.  I hope this helps those who are struggling to realize it's a common issue.  Babies come in all different ways: adoption, foster, fertility help, and sometimes unexpectedly.  Also, pregnancy is a private and guarded issue for many.  I have found that most people who are struggling will never tell you, even your closest friends.  Always be mindful of what you might say to someone going through infertility, your "helpful" words might hurt.

Endometriosis

Around the time I was a senior in High School, I began experiencing intense cramps each month.  I always knew something was wrong in the back of my mind, but wasn't sure who to talk to about it.  My family didn't really go to the Doctor and my mom wasn't the most open person.  The older I became, the worse the cramping got.  There were days I could barely move, lived with a heating pad, and took as many hot baths as my water heater would allow.  Finally, my aunt talked to me about endometriosis.  She had it.  It was the cause of her infertility and she had similar cramping to go along with it.  

 Birth Control Blues

For years I would take birth control to help suppress the cramping and would only have to deal with it every 4th month.  The birth control started making me too hormonal and so I quit.  As I've talked about in previous posts, I was married before.  My ex-husband wasn't interested in kiddos (point of difference between us) and so I never went to the gyno regularly until I was 25. 

2010 Photo by Veronica Reeve Photography

I had wanted a baby for years and when Tim and I got married, we decided to start right away.  Tim's dad was a OB/GYN and his Midwife at his practice was amazing and the service was free.  I finally sat down with her and discussed my painful cramping and also how I couldn't wait to get pregnant.  The tricky part with endo is that it can't really be diagnosed without a laparoscopy.  Some women have horrible cramps and no endo, and some have no cramps and the worst endo.  After about 5 months of "trying" and many years of cramping, Tim and I sat down with his dad to talk about an exploratory laparoscopy.  Dr. Healy was a very successful Endo surgeon, delivered over 6,000 babies, and was tops in his profession.  We were not close and so I didn't have a problem considering him to do my surgery.  It probably helped that I'm not a shy person. 

Surgery Scheduled

The lap was over in just a couple short hours.  Dr. Healy burned a substantial amount of endo off my uterus.  He said I would probably get pregnant pretty soon post surgery and that my cramping should go down.  Endo is a disease that grows rapidly in some women and you oftentimes have to have maintenance surgery to clear it again.  After a few more months with no luck, we decided on a couple things.  

1. We would try basic fertility as in Clomid and hormones.

2.  If that didn't work, we would move on to adoption. 

Another Year Goes By

When all you are focused on is getting pregnant, everything seems more sensitive.  Friends getting pregnant, strangers with their cute baby bellies, and all of your negative pregancy tests, you think you might break.  Strangers will get involved with their opinions and sometimes they will sound unintentionally hurtful.  Forgive those people.  Especially if they have not struggled with fertility.  Tim would reassure me constantly that it wasn't our turn yet and that I needed to be happy for others.  I started talking more about my endo and fertility struggles with friends, only to find out that it was very common.  The cramping never went away, we had moved up dosage on the Clomid, and still no sign of a baby.  I remember sitting down with Dr. Healy and him telling me a couple things.  One in two pregnancies is a miscarriage and he also said most people never realize they are pregnant since it might just be for a couple days.  

A Specialist

I decided since it had been over a year since my previous surgery and the pain seemed to be getting worse that I would find an Endo specialist.  This led me to Dr. Arrington.  We went in for a consultation and he thought for sure that my endo was back.  We scheduled surgery, this time on my Birthday.  This surgery took about 5 hours.  He told me he would be cutting away the diseased areas instead of lasering/burning them off.  He explained that cutting it would cut down the chances of it spreading so quickly again.  After surgery he told me that it was worse than he had anticipated since I had the same surgery a year before.  It had spread throughout my abdomen, twisted an ovary and attached the ovary to my abdominal wall, and last but not least spread to my appendix which he took out.

And Then We Waited

I healed.  Cramping lessoned, but was still painful.  February came and Tim's dad passed away.  

A sweet little memorial that Davis Hospital put together for Tim's dad. 

A couple more months went by.  We tripled my remaining Clomid and decided after it was gone that we were done with fertility.  We had also been looking at adoption agencies for a few months.  We had finally chosen one to use and started working on our paperwork and were trying to figure out our home study.  A couple more months went by and then it happened.  I felt my stress about not getting pregnant start to lighten and thoughts of adoption replace the need for pregnancy.  After all, I just wanted a special babe to join our family and I was OK with any means of that happening.  

 If you talk to any girl who is anticipating pregnancy, they will all tell you that each month they take many, I mean tons of pregnancy tests.  Mine always ended up negative followed by my period a few short hours later.  So when July came and I refused to take a test for a few days, I knew what had happened.   After a few days of being "late"... I caved and it said positive.  I was in total disbelief.  

On God's Time

I surprised Tim with the news before a concert we were going to in Park City.  He was even more shocked and excited than I was.  Everything we had been praying for finally came true.    

March of 2013 we welcomed our perfect baby girl, Ava.  We became parents.  I became my sweet Ava's Mom.  

A Baby Boy

I knew that I would probably have to have another babe within a couple years of Ava.  Pregancy temporarily stops endo and then it will continue spreading.  I had two potential options, if I waited a few years to have another babe, I might have to have a lap again.  We decided around the beginning of the year that we were ready.  This time after a few months, we were having our next babe.  He will be born in March of 2015.  My kiddos will be almost exactly 2 years apart.  

Be Careful What You Wish For 

I longed so much to be pregnant that I didn't realize that pregnancy can be a rough business.  There are those of you that were like me, waiting, and I'm sure you are muttering to yourself "Jamie, shut up and don't complain."  I wish I could tell you that pregnancy is glowing, beautiful, and that you only get pregnant in your stomach.  Nope.  Not for me.  My booty gets bigger, thighs touch, I puke everyday, and you may or may not get stretch marks.  My pregnancy with Ava was rough.  I even threw up on the operating table during my csection.  As a girl that envied pregnancy so badly, it wasn't the perfect 9 months.  I've learned that lesson twice.  

I'm so thankful everyday for my sweet babies and the miracle it is for me to carry them.  I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father that helped me through the hardest times.  I know so many people that long for a baby and some will get pregnant and some will adopt.  Everyone will have their opinion, follow what route is best for you.

I decided this round of pregnancy that I would have my sweet husband do a few pics for me.  It's so important to document these moments for yourself and your babes.  It's such a blip in your life that leaves the best memories. 

  XoXo, 

Jamie

For questions or comments related to this post, please feel free to contact Jamie at individualrivalry@gmail.com  

Don't buy the wrong tampons and other helpful mom tips.

The other week I was sitting around the table with a couple of my sister-in-laws discussing the upcoming school year.  Shelby has a pre-teen still in elementary, but not too far off from Jr. High.  We were talking about how all kids hit different points of needing hygiene as well as fun items for growing up.  I love that she is so in-tune with her girl.  Growing up for me wasn't that easy, my mother and I weren't besties that talked about anything.  The day I asked for my own razor, I about croaked because I felt so embarrassed.

Here's your chance to be the cool mom.  Let's not make our girls feel like it's another maturation program-bleck!  Make your gal feel excited to make changes about hygiene and growing up, but in a way that they don't just jump from 12 to 18 overnight.  Just like everything, if you walk them through it then maybe they can avoid the bad eyeliner and makeup tips from their friends. 

1.  When I was a teen, I loved loved loved my caboodle.  Ya know, the thing you put your makeup in in the early 90s.  I had a few.  Well, I think a great kit starts with helping your girl pick out a great bag to store it all in.  Plus it will help their sibs stay out of it later.  This benefit bag was free at an event, but Target, Ross, and Ulta has some great options for little $$.  You might even have something great in your closet, it's worth a look.

2.  Skincare!  Start them young.  

• Dove bar is essential in my kit.  I recommend buying a travel soap dish for it to live in.  This is not just a girl tip, I recommend this to everyone!  It will clear up the breakup and it's not going to over-strip the skin. 
• Treatment- I picked the benzoyl peroxide gel (Target brand) to spot treat the acne that pops up.  Helpful hint is to make sure you use white towels- the peroxide portion of this can bleach towels, pillow cases, etc if not used correctly.
• Face Lotion- My top recommendation for this is something basic like cetaphil.  Again, it's so gentle and the price point is minimal.   (The ones pictured are Ole Advanced Hydration and BB Cream by Smashbox).

3. Makeup-Utilize places like Sephora to get matched perfectly.  They also provide samples so you can see how it wears with your teen.  Don't feel like you have to spend a ton of money on makeup, the grocery store brands make some great products that I mix and match in my own collection. 

• A bb cream is a great intro to foundation.  It provides a tiny hint of color, hydration, and sunscreen.  I really like Bare Minerals for a step up from a bb cream as well.
• Concealer is a great option for those little red bumps that pop up.

4. Eyes.  I'm going to tell you right now, one of the first things your girls will run to is eye makeup.  More than likely they've had gloss since they were tiny so next step is eyes.

• If you know me, you know I love E.L.F. and you know they are super inexpensive and make a great product.  Their lash curler is my fave (Tarte curler shown and is great too-Ava hid my elf).
• Clear Mascara is a great tip for girls with dark lashes.  It's a great beginner item and they can't mess it up.  This will usually hold them over until 8th or 9th grade I've found.
• They're real mascara is still my fave.  This sucker is $24 a pop, so maybe keep this secret for yourself.  Mammas, if you aren't comfortable showing your girl how to do her makeup, most places will do a little intro for next to nothing.  Plus it helps keep their makeup age appropriate.

5. Gloss.  Not a ton to explain here, keep it fun.  I love the CO Bigelow line from Bath and Body!  Yum, to the mint. 

6.  Hygiene.  After the horror of the razor when I was 12, the rest of dreaded puberty hit.  I think I was 14 and I decided I wanted to move up in the world to tampons.  Yes.  The "T" word.  Again, I waited until we got to the store and asked my mom if I could get some, expecting tampax or something I was familiar with.  Wrong.  OB.  Do you know what those are???  The terrifying terrorist that doesn't come in a pearl shell.  This doesn't even have a horrible cardboard shell.  Nothing.  I got home from the store very concerned about how exactly to dispense these into such a tiny area.  Please don't do this to your daughter.  I was traumatized for a good while after that.  

• Find a fun deodorant.  Make it some they want to use it.  Please.  
• Body mist is a much lighter twist on perfume, so they can't fragrance bomb you too bad.  
• Lastly-a razor.  Don't skimp on this part.  And remind your littles not to share these with their friends!

I hope these recommendations help and I'm here if you have any specific questions.  If you have something you would like to know- email me at individualrivalry@gmail.com

XoXo

Jamie 

Help for your future photos!

Most of you will be doing the dreaded family pictures here soon, because face it- Christmas cards are right around the corner.  I just wanted to throw out a few helpful things I've found as a consumer and photographer. 

1. Do your research.  So many people do photography now so you now have your pick of the litter.  When I look for a photographer for my little family I like to know cost, how many edited pics I will get, and how long the session runs.  Google is a great resource and I always suggest seeing as many photos from the photog as possible so you have an idea what yours will be like. 

 2. Ask your photographer how you will receive your images.  Some photographers only do digital images, some require you to order prints with them, and some will give you a disc of images.  I've noticed a growing trend of "dropboxing" digital images to customers.  That can be great if you know how to use them, but a lot of my clients still prefer disc over dropbox. Also find out if you will receive a Print Release for your private printing.   Most photo printing places will require you have a photographer's release before they will give you prints.

 

3. Editing is important.  Did your kid fall off a chair and require stitches the day before your family pics?  Photoshop to the rescue right?  This is a great tool and it can alleviate the need to reschedule your session- but find out if it will come with an additional cost.  A lot of photogs will retouch a couple photos, but often they will charge a fee for extensive editing.  

Photoshop can save you from having to reschedule!

4. Find out how long it will take to get your photos back.  My experience is 1-2 weeks for normal sessions with the exception of large groups or weddings.  It takes time.  Be patient.  I easily take 500 photos at a session and then narrow it down a couple times before editing the finals.  Throw in a few sessions a week and it takes time.   

5.  We love suggestions, especially if you have a certain photo in mind.  I always recommend to my clients to make a list of shots they would like or to use pinterest for ideas. 

This client wanted a picture of her newborn with her grandmother.  It's now a cherished picture!

Now it's time for what you can do to make your session easier when it comes. 

1.  Newborn sessions are bitter and sweet all at once.  They can take 1 hour or 4.  Be prepared with plenty of milk and diapers.  That sweet baby will probably pee on the photography props and spit up all over that cute new swaddle.  Oh well.  Relax and let the photographer do the work.  I've found newborn sessions are best the first couple weeks of life when that baby is sleeping all day long.  The older a baby gets, the longer he or she is awake.  If you are going to do your own newborn photos, think twice.  My husband suggested we take our own with Ava, since I take other peoples.  I honestly didn't enjoy doing it at all.  It's hard to be the mom and the photog.  These photos are worth the investment.  I promise.  

2.  Whiten your teeth.  Yep, I said it.  The first time I got married- I had a great photographer and that was the first thing she said she suggests to all her couples.  I was already an avid whitener, but my (former) husband-to-be wasn't.  May I suggest whitestrips????  Cheap, easy, and quick.  Also freshly colored hair can be a must.  Don't rely on your photographer for all the fixes!

3.  If you have kids who tend to get messy, don't put their outfits on until the last minute.  You won't regret this.  Also, try and get any shots with the kids you need first.  Kids get tired quickly.  I've had photos where everyone looks perfect and the littlest babe is upset and screaming.  Bring treats that aren't messy and can be used to distract the kids. 

4.  Let your kid be a kid.  If the pose isn't perfect, let it go.  When you look back, that may be the picture you like the most.  Sheena and I have both experienced this many many times!

Those are just a few ideas.  
Thanks for reading and have a happy Tuesday!

-Jamie

A practice marriage & a now happy life.

Photo by Veronica Reeve

I'm Jamie and I'm married.  We achieved 4 years of blissful marriage yesterday.  Yep, another anniversary happened.  I'm as surprised sometimes as you are.  I never thought I deserved to be as happy as I am at this moment.  

5 years ago, it was more like "I'm Jamie and I'm divorced."

When I was 18, I met the man I thought I would spend my life with.  We dated a couple years and then got married.  I was 20.  That marriage didn't work out how I thought it would.  I don't know how many people get married thinking "someday I will divorce this person."  I didn't.  I thought I could weather the storms that marriage threw at me.  I couldn't.  He couldn't.  The love diminished, along with the trust and the respect. 

When my ex-husband and I started to separate, there were only a few people my age going through the same thing.  I remember the whispers from friends, family, and even strangers.  That's right, people I never met were somehow involved in my business.  So many people told me to stick it out or just deal with the problems.  I think that can be great advice.  I also think that sometimes (in my case) divorce was the answer.  

Did you know so and so is getting a divorce?

I think that celeb gossip carries over into our real life.  Facebook is our modern newspaper.  It will tell you the weather, obituaries, marriages, pregnancies, parties, disputes, political info, and even who is getting divorced.  I think about how hurt I felt every time I found out what someone would say about me.  Bummed.  I wasn't sure where I fit in.  I dated and dated and dated.  Some great guys and some not-so-great guys.    

A practice husband. 

I love referring to my first marriage with the term "practice."  I made my mistakes and learned from them.  I took a negative about being divorced and made it a positive.

A while into my dating, I found Tim.  Or should I say found again.  Tim and I dated for a minute in high school and he had just returned from a mission the year before we started dating.

 

When we started dating, I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him.  He was spiritual, sweet, and so loving.  Why wasn't he married?  I think he was waiting for me.  He just didn't know it!  Our first date went something like this "Let me tell you every skeleton in my closet before your friends do."  I never thought he would call me for a second date.  I mean, would you want to take on all the baggage?  I'm sure it wasn't easy for him, but he never let on.  He loved me and I adored him just the same.  

I never realized how unhappy I was until I was happy.  

Once every couple of weeks I would try and break up with Tim.  Finally after a few times of this, he told me "I know you aren't used to being treated well in other relationships, but I'm not those guys.  I love you so stop trying to end a good thing."  Finally I listened.  I'm so thankful everyday for that conversation.

Just because you think you don't deserve something, doesn't mean that's how it is. 

I determine what my life will be.  As difficult as some of my decisions were, they led me to the life I have right now.  I wouldn't change any part of my past.  Bold words since I made a few, cough cough, bad decisions.  

I'm so thankful I got a "do-over."

I think so many people experience getting a divorce later in life.  I'm glad to have experienced mine young.  Getting a redo was where I lucked out.  Most second marriages are less likely to last than the first.  I knew that going into my second and I think it makes me work harder to keep it going. 

If you're unhappy, maybe reevaluate.  Know what your getting into before you say "I do" or "I want a divorce."  Both things shouldn't be taken lightly.  The grass isn't always greener and sometimes it feels like a dog has peed all over the grass you are currently barefoot on.  You might just need a little fertilizer to make your own grass green again.  You only get this life once.  

I'm so grateful for that first date with Tim and the many dates since then.  Marriage is hard, but with the right partner the weight is somehow lighter.  We still argue and promptly makeup.  We let go of the dumb little things and cherish great moments together.  He makes me laugh and I still make him a little crazy. 

I love you honey and I'm so thankful you chose me.

Happy Anniversary.

Photo by Veronica Reeve

Photo by Veronica Reeve

Photo by Veronica Reeve

Photo by Veronica Reeve

Photo by Veronica Reeve

Photo by Jamison Elizabeth Photography

I had a dream the other night.

It's summer.

It's almost 1/3 of the way over.

Yep.  Count your weeks parents.  Before you know it, you can ship the kids back to school for a few short hours a day so you can drink your rockstar in peace. 

You thought I was going to say the opposite right?  Enjoy your kids while they are home all summer... blah blah blah.  I mean that too of course.  But, sometimes you need a break with just adults.  As my grandma tells me, you can love your baby all you want- but love yourself too.  

(insert lovely dreamy music here)

Sometimes I imagine I AM a rockstar.  I walk out on stage, the crowd screams, & I hit the perfect pitch every time.  Not to mention I have stellar dance moves & if you have heard me sing or dance we all know how far from perfect I am. 

(exit lovely dreamy music for loud alarm...  reach for the snooze button...)

When One Republic adds a Salt Lake show to the list, I'm there.  And for a few short hours, I can pretend all the above with 10,000 other people around me doing the exact same thing.  I've now seen them more times than albums they've released.  I'm that girl that knows way too much trivia about the band & all the obscure lyrics.   They rock my world.  Any chance I have to sing live with them-yes-I said "with them."   

That love yourself time for me involved a babysitter, a couple redbulls(never again), & some of the best friends this chick could ask for.  Basically, Sheena & I took our husbands & the Hassells along for our ride.  My music-filled, friend-singing, stranger-dancing night was pure perfection(minus the cluster to get in & out of the venue).  

Music is my passion.  Everyone loves a good song.

Sheena only knew a few songs & stuck with me the entire time.  That's true friendship.  I promised her she could pick the next concert which I'm guessing will involve something country.  Get your spouse/bestie (or both) & find a summer concert, dance your a$$ off and sing like you think you can. If you don't, you will only regret not having a much deserved kid-free evening.  
No mommy guilt for this girl.

Thanks One Republic for an excellent show!

xoxo

Jamie